


Joy Story

by PenguinofProse



Series: S4 Time Jump AUs [23]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Episode AU: s04e13 Praimfaya, Episode: s04e13 Praimfaya - Time Jump, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff, Post-Episode: s04e13 Praimfaya, Some angst and a fluffy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28861599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PenguinofProse/pseuds/PenguinofProse
Summary: Written for 100 fics for BLM. Time jump AU. Madi ends up in space with Clarke and Bellamy. Angst to fluff, heavy on the fluff.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Madi, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Clarke Griffin & Madi
Series: S4 Time Jump AUs [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764070
Comments: 26
Kudos: 165
Collections: The 100 Fix-Its and Rewrites, The t100 Writers for BLM Initiative





	Joy Story

**Author's Note:**

> Here's another fic written for 100 fics for BLM! Thank you so much to the person who prompted this - it was so kind of you to give such a flexible and encouraging request! I've tried reaching out to you to run this plot past you but no luck, so I hope this doesn't disappoint!
> 
> Here's a time jump AU with Madi in space and family fluff. I've ignored canon geography and put Shallow Valley between Polis and Arkadia (still a smaller continuity error than most of S7, tbh). Huge thanks to Zou for betaing it. Happy reading!
> 
> Content note: canon compliant traumatic childhood and low self-worth.

**You might want to go check out this link to find out more about 100 fics for BLM!<https://t100fic-for-blm.carrd.co/> There's a few prompts waiting around on our prompt board with me as writer - a range from canonverse soulmate angst to modern AU smut!**

Clarke knows exactly what she's signing up for, when she volunteers to go with Bellamy to the island. She knows that this is a dangerous mission, that time is running out, that they might not get safely back to Polis before the death wave.

That's why she's so determined to go with him.

He's _Bellamy_. The one and only individual person she cares about more than the entire human race. And yes, sure, he's at least a little angry with her right now. But no way is she about to allow that to get in the way of her taking her proper place at his side.

They don't speak much, as they sit side-by-side in the rover and drive to the island.

No, that's a lie. They don't speak _at all_. They look at each other plenty – Clarke staring at his face in profile, fully aware that she must look rather pathetic. And she keeps catching Bellamy shooting these little furtive glances at her, doing it so often that she's worried he might crash.

And yet they keep silence.

She can hear Murphy and Emori murmuring quietly to each other in the back of the rover. Good for them. It would be nice, Clarke thinks, at least to feel loved as the world is ending. But she knows she doesn't deserve that.

She's honestly relieved when the radio crackles to life, when Monty explains that he and Harper are trying to get to Polis but their rover has broken down. That's a disaster, of course, and yet Clarke is glad to have an actual disaster to deal with rather than all this thick, sticky silence.

"We're going to fetch them." Clarke says, because that's obvious. Monty and Harper are their people, and she's had enough of hurting her people for one day.

"Yeah. Of course." Bellamy agrees easily, instinctively. "But – we don't have a lot of time to spare."

"I know. But you're not saying we should leave them?"

"No. You know I'm not. I'm just saying – that's the way it is."

He turns down the next track towards Arkadia, and silence falls once more.

…...

Clarke tries to decide how to apologise, as the detour towards Arkadia drags on.

She thinks she should give it a go. Obviously she's sorry, but she's been sorry since she locked the door. The reason she's seriously contemplating trying to talk about it now is that Bellamy actually spoke to her, when they were deciding what to do about Monty and Harper. And he looked to her as if she's still more or less his friend and colleague.

So it is that she's trying to find the words. But Bellamy is the one who is good at using words to sway an audience, out of the two of them. She's just a bundle of good intentions and tough choices, and she's _tired_ , damn it. She simply doesn't know how to make this crappy situation any better.

She should start simple. Just say it. _I'm sorry_. How hard can it be?

"I'm – Bellamy, look out!" She cries, suddenly, seeing a small figure in the road ahead.

Bellamy slams on the brakes, and the person darts out of the road. The _child_ – she could swear it was a child, a young girl by the look of things.

Clarke doesn't think twice. She opens the door and jumps straight from the rover.

"Clarke!" She hears Bellamy call, but she's already putting distance between herself and the vehicle as she runs after the disappearing child.

"We have to help her!"

"Clarke!"

She doesn't hear any more. She's already fighting through the trees in the direction she thinks the girl went. She's not going to hang around and listen to Bellamy, not today. She's aware than normally running through forests after fleeing children is more his area, and she's the one who would be sitting tight and trying to form a plan.

But she's done with plotting and planning, in this moment. She's spent months trying to do the right thing, and it's brought her nothing but trouble. Here and now, as the world is ending, she just wants to follow her heart and run to help this scared child.

Following her heart was the right thing to do when she didn't pull the trigger on Bellamy, wasn't it? Perhaps it's the right thing to do now, too.

She catches up to the child within a handful of seconds. She was correct – this is a young girl, and apparently quite alone. Already Clarke's brain is going at a mile a minute trying to figure this out. Everyone else in the area is dead or dying from the radiation already, but this girl is whole and healthy and running. And alone.

She tests her idea.

"I'm a nightblood, too." She tells the girl in Trig.

Yes. She was right. The girl freezes at that, but not in fear. Instead she looks suddenly intrigued.

"You're a nightblood?" She echoes.

Clarke nods. "So you don't need to be scared of me." She offers softly. "Are you alone? Are you hurt? Can I help you?"

The girl frowns deeper. She's too young to be wearing that look on her face, Clarke thinks. She should be carefree and playing. And although she can scarcely be half Charlotte's age, there's something about the sad lack of youthful innocence that reminds Clarke of Charlotte.

That's what makes Clarke want to persevere.

"You shouldn't be out here alone. It's dangerous. Praimfaya is coming." She explains.

The child nods. "I know. It killed my family already."

Clarke bites her lip. The most upsetting thing of all, here, is that this child is too shocked or traumatised to even weep on saying that. "I'm so sorry. I'm travelling with my family, at the moment. We're trying to survive Praimfaya together. You could join us if you like." She swallows. "I know you must be scared and lonely. We all know what it's like to feel that way. Two of my friends – Emori and Murphy – they have been cast out before now."

The girl nods seriously. "I have to hide when the scouts come."

Clarke tries for an encouraging smile. "My friend Bellamy, his sister used to have to hide, too. He could protect you like he used to protect her."

A thoughtful silence. They do not have time for thoughtful silence – the world is ending. And yet Clarke cannot bear to shatter the quietness.

"My name's Madi." The girl offers, audibly nervous, after several long seconds.

"I'm Clarke. You want to come meet my friends?"

Madi nods.

"That's great. We'll take care of you." She hesitates, wonders how to manage the next hurdle. "I need you to put on this suit, Madi. The one I'm wearing now. It will protect you from Praimfaya. I'm going to take it off and help you put it on. It'll be much too big on you and guess you won't be able to walk easily, but it will protect you." She explains carefully.

Madi only nods, eyes wide. Clarke supposes all this silent nodding is probably no surprise – any child would be lost for words, under the circumstances.

Clarke makes quick work of stripping off her rubber suit and helping Madi to put it on. She's cold without it, but she figures that's the least of her worries. The suit is far too big for Madi and she can scarcely move her limbs, so once she's wearing it, Clarke scoops her up and carries her. She's hardly a big woman, but these months on the ground and this moment of fear leave her stronger than might be expected.

She sets out back towards the rover, mumbling some words of reassurance to Madi as she goes. She doesn't know where to begin, really. This girl has just lost her family and her people and Clarke has no idea how to save her life. But she's determined to try, determined to protect her as best she can.

It's a funny business. She's seen a lot of sad children, since she came to Earth. That's a horrible fact, but it's the truth. So she's not sure why she's so determined to save this particular child on this particular day. Maybe it's something to do with the ghost of Charlotte or the echo of Octavia, she wonders. Or maybe it's more to do with this day – the fact that Clarke feels so low and guilty and is just desperate for a chance to prove to herself that she can do better.

She gets back to the rover. Murphy and Emori are still there, guarding the vehicle.

"Where's Bellamy?" Clarke asks, panicked, still holding Madi tight.

"Looking for you. Where else?" Murphy asks, audibly exasperated. "I'll go shout for him. Don't go anywhere."

Clarke can deal with that instruction. She spends a few moments introducing Emori to Madi, and all the while she's wondering what happens next. They need to fetch Monty and Harper, as well as Raven. There are no spaces in the bunker for most of them. How can she fit these puzzle pieces together? There must be a solution.

She refuses to fail at this particular challenge.

Murphy and Bellamy are back before long, tumbling through the trees, panting heavily in their thick suits.

"I filled him in. You found a kid, we have to go." Murphy summarises abruptly.

Clarke nods. "Yes. Let's go. We need to get to Monty and Harper."

"Hang on a moment." Bellamy says, frowning. "Clarke – can you come here a second?"

She frowns. She stands up. She walks slowly towards him. Bellamy has never demanded to speak to her in a tone like that before now, and she simply does not know the meaning of it.

"What is it?" She asks.

"I wasn't going to say this in front of the kid but – are you out of your mind?" He asks, in a rather loaded whisper.

She frowns, shepherds him further away from Madi, Murphy and Emori. "I couldn't leave her, Bellamy. I know we don't have a plan but we'll figure something out. We can't just abandon her."

"I'm not talking about bringing her with us. I'm talking about taking off your suit." He bites out.

She frowns deeper. "She needed it more than me. And I'll probably be fine – I'm a nightblood."

He narrows his eyes. "And so is she. She's not sick at all, is she?"

"But – but she might get sick. We don't know how the nightblood works. And she's only a kid."

He sighs loudly. "Clarke. I know you've had a big day, but this isn't like you. Come on – you know there's no logic to that. No consistency." Any other time, she thinks, that would be a teasing comment. But there is no trace of humour in his voice today.

It gets worse. He reaches for his helmet, looks about ready to rip it straight off.

"No! No, you can't." She insists, placing her bare hand over his glove.

"I think you'll find I _can_ , Clarke. I'm giving you my suit and that's final."

"No." She insists. "Please, Bellamy. You – you have to be OK. Why do you think I didn't shoot you earlier?"

He frowns. "Really? We're talking about that _now_?"

"I'm _sorry_ , OK? I'm so sorry." She spreads her hands, tears prickling at her eyes. "But _please_ will you just keep the damn suit on. I – I can't lose you. I couldn't lose you when you were opening that door, and I can't lose you now."

He softens, just a little. His hand falls from his helmet. "Now put yourself in my shoes, Clarke. I can't lose you either. I can't stand here and watch you get sick and know I could stop it."

The moment of victory. She can see a way out of this now. "I'll tell you if I get sick." She rushes to suggest. "We put our hope in the nightblood, but if I feel sick I'll let you know and we can – we can find a solution." She offers, knowing full well that there is no solution to be found.

He nods slowly. "You'd better do." He tells her, voice hoarse. "I – Clarke -" He swallows, tries again. "You'll tell me if you're sick." He concludes weakly.

She nods. She doesn't swear that she'll do as he asks, because frankly she has no intention of doing any such thing. She just wants him to stop threatening to take his helmet off.

"And – about earlier." He smiles stiffly. "That was hours ago, OK? Things move quickly on the ground. Let's put it behind us. We're good."

They're not good. They're standing in the middle of a snowy forest waiting for death to come for them, and they're in the midst of a strained conversation, too. But she supposes she appreciates the sentiment. It's not exactly forgiveness, but it's better than nothing.

"I really am sorry." She repeats, rather feebly.

"I know." He heaves in a loud breath. "Come on. We should get moving. But you'll tell me if you so much as sneeze." He insists, evidently trying for a joke and not quite managing it.

She nods again. And then, on the spur of the moment, she does possibly the most foolish thing of her life – certainly the most foolish thing she has done in this frankly idiotic day. She reaches up on her tiptoes, presses a soft kiss to the glass front of Bellamy's helmet.

She can't quite believe she did it, after. She's flushing furiously, eyes fixed on the ground. That looked far too transparently affectionate, she fears, in a world where Bellamy is still half-angry with her. And apart from anything else, it was _silly_ , and she doesn't think of herself as a woman prone to silliness.

In case it wasn't clear, she really is struggling to think straight, today. She probably ought to sort that out in time to make a plan and save them all.

She's surprised to find a pair of rubber-clad arms reaching around her, a helmet resting against the side of her head. Bellamy's hugging her, hard and fast, and it doesn't feel like a normal hug with Bellamy because of the radiation suit and the circumstances, but she decides she likes it all the same.

It's a much better outcome than she expected when she caught herself kissing his damn helmet.

"We're good." He repeats fervently, the sound echoing strangely in his helmet. "We're OK. Just – _please don't die on me_." He murmurs, and he sounds absolutely wrecked. It stabs her in the stomach like nothing else that has happened in this long, hellish day.

"I'll try not to." She says, because really, she thinks that's the best any of them can do, under the circumstances.

He pulls away, gives her a weak smile, and heads round to the driver's side door of the rover.

…...

By the time they pick up Harper and Monty, Clarke has a plan, more or less.

OK, maybe it's more of a prayer. But the point is, she thinks they should head to the island and take the rocket and ride out the radiation in space. She's had a lot of crazy ideas in her time, and she fears this may well be the craziest of the lot. But she figures that crazy is better than dead.

She hopes so, anyway. She really does seem to be struggling with sanity, today.

She explains the idea to her friends. They all seem to agree it's the best plan they're going to get. She's not sure Madi understands what's going on – she's just been fidgeting nervously in the back of the rover while Clarke keeps a careful watch since the moment they found her.

With the plan agreed, and with Monty and Harper on board, things start moving. Monty has a spare radiation suit that should have been Jasper's, and Clarke puts it on. She's relieved, because in all honesty she started feeling nauseous about an hour ago, and her coughs are tasting bloody. Meanwhile Bellamy radios Raven to tell her the plan and ask her to prepare the rocket.

Within moments they are ready to get underway again. Clarke is puzzled, though, when she is settled in the back of the rover with Madi and Murphy and Emori, and yet they do not immediately start moving. Harper and Monty are not in the rover yet. Confused, she sticks her head out the door to see what's happening.

She almost headbutts Bellamy as he strides straight to the back door of the rover.

"Shuffle up." He says robustly. "I'm riding in back with you guys."

Clarke blinks. "I thought you'd be driving?"

"I asked Monty to swap with me. I wanted to be with you." He explains, a little stiff, eyes averted.

She sighs a long, relieved sigh. She was already in love with him yesterday, and last week, and last month. She knows she was. And yet that's nothing compared to how strongly she feels for him, here and now, on this day that she upset him and hurt him and yet he's still determined to stick by her side and take care of her.

"That sounds perfect." She admits, open and unguarded, retreating back into the rover and making space for him. She's got Madi on her left, resting fitfully, too anxious and upset to truly sleep. And she has Bellamy on her right, now, sitting down and reaching an arm around her rubber-clad shoulders.

Is this a thing they do now? Apparently it is, when the world is ending.

"Take a nap." He recommends.

She almost laughs. "A nap?"

"Yeah. I know you're not feeling well." He says, frowning deeply. "So much for telling me if you got sick, huh? But maybe if you get some rest you'll get better." He suggests. He looks worried, she thinks – or perhaps half way to terrified.

Maybe that's why she doesn't argue further. Or maybe it's just lovely to have him taking care of her, or lovely to know that they really are OK despite that gun she waved at his heart.

But either way, she leans her head heavily on his shoulder and closes her eyes.

…...

She wakes up to a gentle hand shaking her shoulder.

"We're there." Bellamy mutters, and she realises the hand is his. "I'd carry you but I can't lift both you and Madi. Thought you'd want me to take her. You can still lean on me?"

She laughs tiredly. "Yeah. I'll be OK. I think I feel a little better now I've slept."

He nods, scoops Madi up. He waits outside the rover for her to lean into his side. And then the three of them shuffle slowly towards the waiting boat.

…...

Getting to space is the easy part, honestly. Raven is a genius, and the rocket is ready, and they soar smoothly into the heavens. It's a hell of a lot easier than that impossible last day on Earth, Clarke thinks, dozing lightly as those around her sort out things like oxygen and water. She's still not feeling great, after those hours of radiation exposure, but she doesn't think she's at death's door.

The other hard part? Getting Madi to settle down. That's not surprising, of course. The kid has had a worse experience of death-wave day than any of them. But as soon as they have all eaten and put on clean clothes, Clarke finds herself trying to coax a very tired and upset child she barely knows to get some sleep. She's found them a nice little family apartment – a double bed Clarke plans to use, and a single for Madi. But the girl is just refusing to go to sleep, and Clarke isn't sure whether to push it. She knows it will be better for Madi if she gets some rest. But on the other hand, she can well understand that it's difficult for her, right now.

"How about if I tell you a story?" She asks, desperate, remembering tales Bellamy has told of raising Octavia.

Madi frowns. "What kind of a story?"

"Do you know the story of the emperor Augustus and his sister Octavia?" Clarke asks.

Madi looks intrigued. "Is it a good story?"

"The best story. It's all about how families care for each other and keep each other safe. Like I'm going to protect you." Clarke says.

Madi nods. Clarke sighs in relief, and gets started on her story.

The tale she tells has nothing to do with Roman history, as it happens. She doesn't know the first thing about the emperor Augustus, except that Bellamy thought he was interesting. So it is that she spins a completely different yarn, in which a character called Augustus would do anything for his sister Octavia. In which he protects her when soldiers come knocking, steals food for her, becomes the ruler of Rome to protect her. It's hardly the most original narrative in the world, she thinks with a cynical smile, but it's all that comes to mind in this moment.

Madi falls asleep, a few minutes into the story. She tosses and turns a little, briefly wakes with a nightmare but manages to doze off again before long.

Clarke doesn't sleep, though. She cannot bear to. It doesn't seem right, somehow, when she feels that Madi needs her. So it is that she perches on the couch and prepares herself for a long night watching over the child's rest.

She's not that surprised when Bellamy knocks softly and slips into the room, just before midnight. She was half-expecting him, she now realises. He's been the one constant in these last few crazy days. Maybe that's why she chose an apartment with a double bed.

No. She's getting ahead of herself, there.

"How is she?" He whispers. "I'm sorry. I'd have helped with bedtime. But Monty wanted to get the hydrofarm set up as soon as possible and it turned out more complicated than I expected."

Clarke smiles tiredly. "It's OK. You shouldn't feel like you had to be here."

He frowns. "I want to. I – I know you're the one that ran after her first. But I want to help you with this, Clarke. I want to be here for both of you."

She simply smiles at him a little wider. "Thanks."

"No problem." He sinks onto the couch at her side. "How are _you_?" He asks, with careful emphasis – as if they have talked about Madi, and now he wants some thorough evaluation of how Clarke is getting on.

She swallows with difficulty. "Not great." Another swallow. "It's just – it's been one hell of a day, hasn't it? From locking that door to pointing that gun at you, finding Madi, making it up here. It's been crazy."

"Crazy even by our standards." He agrees with a tired chuckle.

She bites her lip, wonders how much to say. "I wonder – I think it might have sent _me_ a little crazy." She admits.

All at once his arm is around her, squeezing her tight to his side. "That's OK. I get that. I don't think anyone could blame you for feeling a little crazy right now. You're _Clarke_ , and if I know you, you'll be back to your usual self in no time. But if you're not and you need some help, that's fine too. We're all going to take care of each other here."

She relaxes even deeper into his side. "Thanks. I'm so sorry – making you deal with this when I almost shot you less than a day ago -"

"Is just normal for us." He says with a tired laugh. "It's OK, Clarke. I got you. And let's be honest, you weren't that close to shooting me."

"You're right. I couldn't have done it."

He makes a warm sort of humming noise, squeezes her a little tighter. She wonders what's going on here, really. They've always been good at hugging, but they don't traditionally sit around holding each other like this. And if she had to try to figure it out, she'd say she thinks it started when she pressed that kiss to his helmet.

Did that cross some kind of line? If it did, apparently it was a good line to cross.

"You should get some sleep." Bellamy murmurs.

"I don't think I can. I don't think I'll be able to sleep for worrying about her. I know I can't actually do anything to help but – I just want to be here for her."

"What if you knew I was keeping an eye on her? We can take turns staying awake and watching over her." He suggests.

"No. I couldn't ask you to do that."

"You're not asking, Clarke. I'm _offering_. You're still a little sick from the radiation and if this is how I get you to sleep, I'm in." He swallows loudly. "And – I want her to be OK, too."

Clarke laughs lightly. "You're too soft when it comes to kids."

He grins. "Guilty as charged. But really, you get some sleep and I'll wake you up to swap in a few hours."

"You'd better actually wake me."

"Just like you said you'd tell me if you got sick?" He reminds her, eyes narrowed.

She sighs. He reaches out, cups her face in one hand. This, again, is new. And yet in this moment it does not feel new at all. It feels normal and effortless and good.

So that's why Clarke leans forward. That's why she tilts her head, ready to go in for a kiss. She falters, just for a moment, as Bellamy's eyes flutter closed and she gets distracted by the sight of his long eyelashes trembling slightly.

And then, at last, she gathers her courage and leans in to press her lips to his.

It's a soft kiss, slow and gentle and tender, but no less passionate for all that. It's exactly the kind of comforting kiss you'd expect at the end of a long, sad day. And Clarke has to admit, this is not how she saw things going, with Bellamy. She always thought that if they ever got together it would be in a blazing mess of teeth and tongues, not unlike one of their early arguments.

But this is the perfect kiss for this perfect moment.

She draws back first. Not because she isn't enjoying it – this has been a lovely kiss, but she can taste something bitter in the back of her throat that she fears might be the lingering effects of her radiation exposure, and she finds herself oddly self-conscious about the idea of Bellamy kissing her and tasting bile.

"I'd love to find out what happens next but there's a traumatised child three feet away." He whispers, brow quirked.

She laughs lightly. "Yeah. That might have to wait for another day." She swallows. She's not sure how to say this. Does she just come straight out with it? "We should – we should _definitely_ figure it out sometime though."

"Agreed." He says easily. "Come on. Lie down and get some sleep." He repeats for perhaps the third time inside of five minutes, patting his lap in a gesture that is impossible to misunderstand.

So that's how the longest day of Clarke's life ends. With her head resting in Bellamy's lap and the child she has taken in resting fitfully on the bed nearby.

…...

Bellamy doesn't exactly wake her up. It's more that she wakes up, and he allows himself to be persuaded to go to sleep in turn.

That sets the pattern for the days that follow, really. Clarke supposes they will all find some kind of routine, as they grow accustomed to life in space and recover from some of their recent hardships on the ground. She thinks there might be breakfast at a sensible time each morning, bedtime each evening. That perhaps they will play games together or train together or learn and share new skills.

But for now, this is her life. Four walls, occasional meals. Her little family of three, as she and Bellamy fall seamlessly into living together and raising Madi. It's soft and comfortable, like that first kiss, and they haven't had chance to explore much more than that yet.

But on the second day after the death wave, she arrives back at their room with supper to find that there is a double mattress in the middle of the living room.

"Rearranging the furniture?" She asks Bellamy, brow quirked.

"Thought it would be more comfy than the couch." He offers.

"I told Bellamy you guys could sleep in the bedroom." Madi insists, but her voice is shaking.

"I know you did, Madi. But I know you were saying that because you thought it was the right thing to say rather than because you were happy with it." Bellamy says softly.

Madi hesitates a moment, then nods heavily.

"It's OK, Madi." Clarke says, crouching at her side to speak to her level with her eyes. "You're so important to us. So if you want us to sleep in here near you a little longer we can do that."

Madi frowns. "Maybe – maybe just a few days more?" She asks. "I thought I was doing OK last night but then that shadow from the door looked like a flamekeeper in their robes and – and -"

She dissolves into tears. Clarke pulls her in for a hug. That's a thing they do now – they've got to know each other rather quickly, thanks to the circumstances. And then Bellamy is crossing the floor towards them, too, and joining in a family hug.

She seems to remember she didn't expect to become a mother. Motherhood is for calm, warm people without the weight of the human race on their shoulders, she seems to remember.

And yet here she finds herself.

…...

It's surprisingly comfortable, sharing a double mattress with Bellamy in the middle of their foster daughter's bedroom floor.

Of course, it is perfectly possible that Clarke's scale for what constitutes comfort is slightly off-kilter. In the last year she's slept in a makeshift tent, and out in the open forest, and on more cold floors of stone or metal than she cares to count. So maybe that's why a passably soft bed and Bellamy's arms seem so wonderful by comparison.

The thing she likes the most is whispering to him, late at night, when Madi is asleep. They have yet to try anything in their relationship beyond chatting and hugging and the occasional chaste kiss, and yet honestly Clarke finds that she is pretty happy – or at least happier than she has been in quite some time.

"I never expected to have a kid." She whispers tonight.

Bellamy is silent for a while. She's not sure why – she doesn't think it was such a surprising statement.

Then he answers and it all makes sense.

"It's just as well we found her then. Because I was definitely expecting to have kids but I was also hoping to have them with you." He mutters, hoarse. It's another one of those comments of his that is framed as something of a joke, but does not come out sounding at all lighthearted.

She considers her answer. "I'm glad we found her too, but not just for that reason." She rolls to face him. "You know, if having a family is important to you, we can try for one. Maybe – maybe when we get back to the ground, if ever we find some peace."

"I'd like that." He says at once. "You'd really do that? I don't want to pressure you into anything. Feels weird to be talking about this when we've only been together a few days." He gives a nervous laugh.

Clarke presses a soft kiss to his lips. "I know what you mean. But – I'm serious about us. I always have been, even if it took me a while to figure out how to act on it."

He smiles softly. "Me too. Get some sleep, Clarke."

She smiles to herself, as she curls up in his arms. She could swear that _get some sleep, Clarke_ is his favourite phrase this week. That's just the kind of overprotective partner he is.

…...

They have been in space a couple of weeks when Madi suggests that Clarke and Bellamy could move to their own room. It's not that she has suddenly stopped feeling anxious, of course – it's more that alongside her fear and nightmares, she has confidence that Clarke and Bellamy will be there no matter what. That they will be sleeping just beyond the door, and that she can knock and ask for their help any time she needs to. Clarke feels pretty honoured that Madi has such faith in them, considering the circumstances.

She and Bellamy take advantage of having their own actual bedroom to learn how to have sex with each other. And honestly, _learning how_ is about right. It's a little surreal, finally figuring out this side of their relationship when they've been together in every other way for a couple of weeks already and have loved each other even longer. They spend a lot of time talking and giggling along the way. It's fun and fulfilling, and constructive communication has always been one of their strengths.

But it's what happens the morning after that's even better. Clarke is walking to breakfast with Madi. Bellamy plans to stop off at the showers and meet them there. And as they walk, Clarke and Madi talk.

"Do you love Bellamy?" Madi pipes up, as children do.

"I do." Clarke replies without hesitation. It seems so simple, now she's enjoyed sixteen precious days of peace to figure things out and let that crazed feeling from death-wave day recede. She seems to remember she used to find it frightening to be open about her feelings, but honestly she has never felt more safe and secure in her life as she feels now.

Madi nods seriously. "And does Bellamy love you?"

"He does." She'd stake her life on it. In fact, now she comes to think about it, isn't that exactly what she was doing, all those times she trusted him to save her?

Clarke thinks nothing more of it. She's proud of herself for being open about her feelings, because that's progress. She's proud of the girl she is fast coming to consider a daughter for feeling brave enough to ask difficult questions about family and relationships, so soon after losing her own people.

But aside from that lingering sense of pride, nothing else about the conversation strikes her as worthy of notice.

That is until she and Bellamy lie in bed that night, and he has something most particular to say to her.

"I overheard you talking to Madi earlier – sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop. But I was only just round the corner."

Clarke stiffens, just slightly. She's not sure why – she really is confident that Bellamy loves her and is happy to be loved by her in turn. Maybe it's that old instinctive fear of facing her feelings, she wonders. That anxiety that anyone she loves will be torn away from her.

"You were right, you know? When you answered that question. I do love you." He says, smiling softly, toying with her hair of all things. It's lovely, she thinks, to live a life where they can be so pointlessly affectionate with each other for a change.

"I love you too." She says. It takes a little courage, but she manages it more easily than she could have dared to hope, even a month ago.

She feels guilty for that, in some ways. She feels guilty for building comfort and security and family on the backs of other people's sacrifice. She knows that they are the lucky ones, the scarred but fortunate few who have made it as far as this peaceful exile in space. She feels bad, too, because she knows that Bellamy is worrying about his sister. She misses her mother, of course, but it is in no sense the same.

In short, she knows she is happier than she deserves to be. But in this moment, she finds that the guilt cannot make much of a dent in her joy.

…...

Parenting is a challenge, it turns out.

It's a challenge quite unlike any other challenge Clarke has known. Instead of the lives of hundreds, she has responsibility for the wellbeing of one small, vulnerable person. That ought to be much less frightening, and indeed it is less terrifying on a life-or-death sort of scale.

But there are the everyday concerns. How worried should she be, if her daughter goes through a phase of wanting to hit things, and people, and learn to box? Is that normal behaviour for a seven year old? Emori says it is perfectly common in grounder communities, and so it is that Bellamy teaches Madi a few introductory self-defence classes. That's the best way to frame it, they decide between them. And at least a spot of training with her father is a healthy way for her to channel the anger and frustration she feels at the mess other people made of her childhood.

Clarke hopes so, anyway. It makes her reassess her own worldview, in some ways. She's fine with her partner and her friends occupying their time in wrestling together – she thinks that's normal adult behaviour, because the life she has lived has normalised it. And yet she was so tempted to draw the line at her daughter learning. Is there a correct answer to this problem? She has a feeling that the correct answer would be for _no one_ to fight, but she fears that there may be fighting when they return to the Earth. And at least, this way, Madi has some hope of defending herself if she needs to.

When Madi is eight, school is the point of conflict. She's sick of learning science with her mum and her uncle Monty, PE and maths with her auntie Harper, engineering with her auntie Raven. They find a way around that problem, too – Bellamy frames everything as story time. Madi has always loved story time with her dad. Clarke thinks it's because she treasures the bonding time, just the two of them. So Bellamy sets up the rest of her lessons as extensions of story time – he tells a story about a pirate, and then challenges her to go learn more about sea creatures. He tells a story about the Romans, and says she had better learn more history to truly understand it. It's hardly a sophisticated strategy, but it works, more or less.

At nine years old, Madi ought to be more than capable of tying her own shoes and brushing her own hair – or so Bellamy figures. He's actually the only one here with experience of raising a kid, and he says Octavia was doing such things for herself far younger than Madi is now. Clarke thinks there probably isn't much point pushing it – Madi is likely to want her parents to be more closely involved in her life and routine by virtue of her unstable childhood and lost birth parents, she figures. But Bellamy insists she needs to be independent sooner or later.

Clarke thinks that's just his guilt over Octavia's imperfections talking, actually. But she agrees, more or less, and they find a compromise where Madi brushes her own hair but Bellamy does the complicated braids that she likes a couple of times a week for a treat.

When she turns ten, Madi briefly decides to speak entirely in Trig. Clarke can understand that – Madi has lost her people and found them replaced by English-speaking strangers she was forced, by circumstance, to accept as family.

Clarke doesn't even try to argue with her daughter about this one. She just takes her for an evening chatting and looking out of the viewing platform window at the scorched Earth below. She holds her tight, and lets her cry, and they spend a healing hour or two grieving the planet and its people together.

Madi goes back to speaking her usual chaotic mix of Trig and English after that, more or less.

…...

By the time five years have passed, and it is almost time to return to Earth, Madi is on the cusp of adolescence.

"It's weird." Clarke murmurs to Bellamy as they lie in bed one evening. "It feels like only yesterday she was this scared little kid who didn't want to be left alone at night. And now she's helping Raven do the fuel calculations for the journey home."

Bellamy smiles softly in the half light. "Not sure how much she was _helping_. Sounded more like _observing_."

Clarke laughs lightly. Raven is perhaps somewhat less prickly than she used to be amidst the pressures of Earth, but she has still not entirely figured out the concept of patience. They love her all the same, and Madi adores her. Engineering is her latest great fascination – second only to dinosaurs.

"Do you think this will last, on Earth?" She asks. "Do you think we'll still have our happy girl and this perfect little family we've built?"

"Well I'm not planning on going anywhere." Bellamy says, squeezing her tight. "We'll be OK, Clarke. We'll figure it out – we always do. We got together the day you pulled a gun on me. We found Madi that day, too. If any family can make it through, we can, no matter what the Earth throws at us."

That's the thing about Bellamy – he's steady as a rock, protective and soothing. He protects her from herself and her own fears and guilt as much as anything else, she thinks. And she knows he'd do anything to take care of their little girl.

"When we're set up down there maybe we can think about trying for another child." She says.

It's a conversation they've come back to more than once over the years, and she finds that she's increasingly drawn to the idea. To begin with, she was considering it more for Bellamy's sake. Now she finds herself thinking that motherhood is a hell of a lot more rewarding than leadership.

"I'd like that." Bellamy says simply. "But only if you want it, too."

That's Bellamy – putting other people first, every day of his life.

…...

Madi is everywhere, as they prepare to leave. She helps Monty to decommission the algae farm. She helps Raven and Emori to prepare the rocket. She sometimes trains with Murphy – that's not helping them get back to the ground in such a direct way, but they all learnt the hard way, three years in, that Murphy is capable of tearing the team apart if he doesn't feel busy and useful and like he has a place in life up here.

Honestly, Clarke starts to miss her daughter. She doesn't see her as much, these days, as she did in the earliest months when Madi was so nervous and clung so desperately to her side or to Bellamy.

That's why she decides it's time to start a new tradition, four years and ten months in.

"We're going to have story time tonight." She declares, as the three of them sit on the couch in their apartment.

Madi rolls her eyes. She must have learnt that from Murphy, Clarke fears, or possibly even from Harper. "Don't you think I'm a bit old for bedtime stories now, Clarke?"

Clarke smiles. "I didn't mean kids' bedtime stories. I meant something a little different. Just – sharing stories together. _Our_ stories – stories of things we've lived through or people we've loved and lost. I think you're old enough to tell your own stories now, aren't you?"

Madi nods. She likes being told she is old enough for something grown-up, these days. "So I'd tell the story of my nomon and notu?" She asks, evidently a little worried by that idea.

"Not them, necessarily." Clarke rushes to assure her. "You could start with something more comfortable, like describing your village. But I think it would be healthy to talk about it if you have the words. And one day, if you have kids of your own, you might like them to know all about your people."

"Then you have to tell me more stories about you, too." Madi insists. "Because you're my people now as well – you guys _and_ Shallow Valley Clan. And I know you've told me some of your stories but you chose the ones most suitable for kids, right?"

"We did." Bellamy concedes. "And now you're a bit older we could start sharing some of the harder stories with you, if you're sure you want to hear them."

"I do." Madi says at once.

It's Clarke who starts it. She knows that Bellamy is considered the story-teller, out of the two of them. He's the one whose bedtime stories Madi used to adore. But today Clarke has something to say that she thinks is entirely suitable for the occasion.

She tells the tale of Lexa. That's a crucial part of Madi's heritage, she figures, as a girl who spent the first six years of her life in one of the villages of the coalition. But it is also part of Clarke's story, of course, and implicitly part of her story with Bellamy. The thing she loves the most about her relationship with this remarkable man is that it is undaunted and undamaged by their past. They have both had their successes and failures, arguments with each other, previous lovers. That's part of what makes them who they are together today.

Madi likes that story, asks a few fascinated and well-chosen questions. And the story she chooses to tell for herself is perhaps less intensely emotional – she explains to Bellamy and Clarke the traditional Shallow Valley method of spear fishing.

It is, Clarke thinks, the perfect place to start.

…...

The final weeks in space seem to fly by. Clarke thinks it's because she has so enjoyed the peace up here – perhaps that's selfish of her, but her joy at living quietly with the people she loves the most far outweighs her desperation to see her mother and Kane and Miller and their other friends beneath the ground.

She's not sure she minds if that is a little selfish. She's learnt, these last five years, that a very small dose of selfishness can sometimes be a healthy thing when it comes to staying sane – or at least that giving away such big chunks of her emotional energy for the sake of saving others was not very sustainable, back when she was on the ground.

And is it selfish to have Madi and Bellamy at the centre of her universe? She's not sure. She thinks maybe it's only human.

…...

It is quiet when they land on Earth.

The Clarke of five years ago would have said _too_ quiet, she thinks. But the Clarke of today chooses to consider it perfectly quiet enough.

They have chosen to land near Madi's old village, because this land seems to have survived Praimfaya more or less intact. There are green trees, blue lakes, and the grass looks a little dry and yellow but it's hardly the end of the world.

Clarke would know – the end of the world is something she is all too familiar with.

Madi copes really well with coming home. She chooses not to live in her birth parents' old house, and that's fine. She points out one on the far side of the village, tells Clarke and Bellamy she cannot even remember who lived there. So that's where the three of them move in. And Madi has a bit of a cry over supper, but honestly, Clarke thinks that's only to be expected. She and Bellamy engulf their daughter in a family hug and sob it all out together.

They have story time that night, the three of them sat around the fire in their new living room. Clarke is in the middle, Bellamy's arm slung around her shoulders, Madi leaning slightly into her side.

"Whose turn is it tonight?" Bellamy asks.

"Yours." Madi bounces back at him, sharp, somewhat like her usual self. She's still a little shakier than normal, but Clarke figures that's fine. There's no shame in feeling fragile.

Clarke speaks up. "I'd like to swap and take tonight, if that's OK."

Bellamy narrows his eyes a little. Madi frowns. "Why?" The child asks.

"Because I've got a story I think is perfect for our first day back on Earth." Clarke explains. She sucks in a breath. "It's the story of our last day on Earth. The worst day of my life, but I got the two best things in my life out of it."

"I think she's talking about you and me, kid." Bellamy whispers, teasing and conspiratorial.

Madi laughs a little. "Sure, Clarke. Tell us your story. Go for it."

"OK. Well, it starts like this. I knew exactly what I was signing up for, when I volunteered to go with Bellamy to the island..."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
